Life Update: I’m home

life-update

Phew! It’s been a whirlwind of events lately! The month of May was a complete blur to me, as I had a month-long stint of work in New York that I simply could not bail on. Having so much time to reflect on my own, living in a hotel and out of a suit case, was good for me and my soul. I found that it allowed me to clarify some things I’d been unsure about (internally) and I’d like to shed some light on those topics. As this blog evolves, I feel it’s important that I become less guarded and allow myself to really open up to you about growth, spiritual finding and how I’m evolving in this crazy world.

Home life: when I moved to San Francisco two years ago, I didn’t know what to expect really. I imagined the sense of loneliness. Leaving friends or family behind was never easy. I imagined struggling with the life change and getting acclimated to simple things like the weather, finding the grocery store, or knowing where to go when I felt unsafe. What I never imagined was the feeling of not knowing where “home” was. And I battled this coming back from my trip head-on. See, most of us consider home as somewhere that the heart is, where your family is, or really the place you just are yourself without pants. For me, that sense of “home” didn’t fill my heart when I reached my doorstep and I struggled with this mentally. I also never imagined this feeling after being here for some time now. Facing this made me realize that when we moved here we never focused on making this place “home.” It wasn’t the primary focus because we’re always on the run that we just assumed “home” meant the address that’s located on your driver’s license. So, I did a little digging. I rearranged furniture, I printed pictures, I did a deep purge and got rid of so many things; clearing my space and my mind. And I cannot tell you how this has changed my perspective. Not only do I feel happy when I get home, but my mind feels clear. My anxiety isn’t through the roof and catching up on emails instead of laundry is less daunting when you know you’re going to come back to this place tomorrow. We even went as far are buying furniture, looking at paint swatches and preparing this place for a forever feeling. It’s scary to commit. Shit, even paint can be painted over, but mentally I struggled with the realness and permanent feeling of nailing pictures to a wall or planting flowers. I have never felt more myself in a community. A place that fully allows me to grow creatively and a sacred place I can collaborate with people and brands, constantly finding inspiration around every corner. Being home and feeling it to the fullest extent means so much to me. Luis and I have been so inundated with wedding tasks that we overlooked this simple principle. So my hope with sharing this is that you, too, are home and find your place of being. Whatever gets you there, whatever things make you feel great about your creative/resting place, find that and keep it close to your heart.

Real life: I want to thank you for being so great and supportive of my absence here on my blog. Being away and not being able to have this creative outlet made me realize more than ever that my heart is here to stay. In a sense, this place is really a creative home for me where I can put out work I’m crazy proud of and gives me the opportunity to share with to you. Getting to know you better here and through social media is in a word: EVERYTHANG. I realize that taking a mini hiatus set my stats back, and to be quite frank, this is really what gets my foot in the door in working with awesome brands. BUT I’m committed (fully) to bringing MELSANV.COM back to life and to really get the gears going here in the coming weeks. So if you can sense gratitude from this side of the screen then I’m happy already.

Are you ready to pick up where we left off?! Me too, beauties.

SO. MUCH. LOVE.

M

By | 2017-04-05T11:45:15+00:00 June 15th, 2016|Advice|2 Comments
  • Penelope Urena

    Damn I feel like I literally just went through all that with you. Great post. I started thinking for a bit that I was right there. Luckily I already went through that for me it was having my mom close by or with me. When I moved to FL she was living in DR. And I literally bare “lived” in my apartment. I pretty much slept and cooked there. That’s it. But luckily I had my work family that loves me. Even if it was just for my flan ? Thanks for sharing this and making us feel like that “this isn’t really home feeling” is not just in our heads.

    • Melissa

      Thank you so much, penny! I feel you, girl. Leaving my parents in Tampa was the hardest thing for me. I almost subconsciously didn’t want to commit to another year lease because it made it more permanent. It took me a lot to realize that being next door and being 3,000 miles away might be two extremes but when you have a bond that’s so close and real to you, sometimes it doesn’t even matter. I still struggle with it on the daily and find my myself in that lonely state, but definitely not like before. I’m feeling more and more anchored here as the days pass and feel the stress levels going down! Thankfully! ❤️❤️❤️